Excerpt 1: Games Couples Play
"I’LL Do It When I Get Damn Good and Ready"

In this game one partner makes a request of the other, such as, "Would you please move those ladders along the side of the house?" or, "Would you please get that old trunk out of the hall?" This request is followed by, "Sure, I'll get those ladders put away next weekend," or, "No problem, I'll get that trunk out of there tomorrow." Unfortunately, you know what happens; the ladders stay next to the house, and the trunk remains in the hall.

Finally, the partner who has made the request yells, "When are you going to get those damn ladders moved?" to which the other partner yells back, "I'll do it when I get damn good and ready." It may take a few weeks or even a number of months to reach this bottom line….

I've seen couples play “I’ll Do It When I Get Damn Good and Ready” about anything and everything. Favorite subjects for this game include discussions about quitting smoking, going on a diet, starting an exercise program, cutting down on drinking, cleaning off one's desk, cleaning the basement, fixing the fence, towing away an old car, and going on a budget.

The person who promises to do something but doesn't do it plays this game to prove that nobody is going to tell him when to do some¬thing. In addition, he plays to prove that his mate is a nag and is always on his back about something. The longer the game goes on, the more he can validate his position. …
Come Here, Go Away

Another game that couples frequently play is Come Here, Go Away. In this game your partner invites you to feel warm and close to him. As you start to do so, however, he pulls a switch and—zap—you feel pushed away.

A husband may play this game by volunteering to do something for his wife (Come Here) and then not doing it (Go Away). Or he may ask her to do something for him (Come Here), and then after she has put the plan in motion or has done it, he decides he doesn't want it anymore (Go Away).

Here’s a typical example…

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