Doris Wild Helmering's Solution Series, e-books for sale

How to Practice the 7 Principles of Love
by Doris Wild Helmering
42 Page e-book
Downloadble PDF

If you know how to love, you remember.
If your friend has a job interview or a major presentation, you find out how it went. You remember. Your remembering says, ``What is going on in your life is important to me.''

You make a point to remember the courses your child is taking, her teachers, and the names of her friends. If your memory isn't good, you write the information down and review it periodically.

You remember a friend's favorite color, favorite flower, what she likes to eat, the type of books she enjoys reading. If she E-mails you a note, you E-mail back. If a favorite book of hers is made into a movie, you bring it up as a subject of conversation. If she completes a project, is awarded a contract, makes a big sale, you offer congratulations.

A man forgets his wife's birthday. The wife is crushed. She interprets her husband's forgetfulness as not caring. She says, ``He doesn't love me. If he did, he'd remember.'' A forgotten birthday or anniversary is certainly not the end-all, but it's an indication that the husband doesn't love enough. He needs to remember, to love.
Some men tell me they're forgetful, and birthdays and special events just don't mean that much to them. I say, ``That's because no one has ever missed your birthday, so you don't really understand.'' I ask how many times they've forgotten to attend a football game. They say that's different. Is the difference because one is important and one is not? And which is really important?

Some people say they don't remember ``this stuff'' because they have a bad memory or they aren't the sentimental type. If you have a bad memory, put a note on your calendar. If you're not sentimental, okay. But remember anyway. Your goal is to discover ways in which you might become more loving. Remembering someone on her special day is a way to become more loving.

Here's another example of people who did not know how to love, how to confront, when that was the very thing that was called for.

Excerpt 2: LOVE IS CONFRONTING AND DISCIPLINING
Emily, age sixteen, thought she was too old to have a curfew. She also thought she shouldn't have to report where she was going or who she'd be with. Emily's mother believed otherwise. She thought it was important to know her daughter's whereabouts and set curfews. Typically, when Emily's mother asked her daughter about plans, the daughter gave her halfway answers and used a get-out-of-my-life tone of voice.

Whenever the father heard the two of them bickering, he would say to the mother, ``Leave her alone. She's only young once.'' To his daughter he'd say, ``Don't mind her. You know your mother. She's always complaining about something.''

Confronting children is love. Teaching them responsibility and manners is love. Having expectations, guidelines, and rules is love.

Are you loving enough to your children? Is there someone you need to be confronting?
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